AL3 not from the Cockpit - India

Well, as I mentioned in last weeks column I was unable to attend the race in India. As a result, this one may contain a few minor inaccuracies. My apologies if this is the case.

Qualifying was fantastically entertaining. VR6_ROB and benappleby duked it out for pole position for the full 15 minutes, trading fastest times. However, with only seconds left in the session deanocourtney94 sauntered round to quite frankly ruin the session as an entertainment spectacle, going over a second faster than anyone else. At this point each of the other drivers groaned, as did the steward. It was such a farce that B__SENNA_ decided he didn't even feel like competing, spending his time chatting up Martin Whitmarsh's wife in the garage. He received a glass of martini to the face as a result.

For the second week running the first corner was very eventful, with several drivers running wide and colliding. Much of this was caused by AJA-IV forgetting that to make it round the corner the brakes need to be applied. For this rookie error he received a 10-second time penalty. Aletdownofstate also received a 10-second penalty. This was because he put a whoopee cushion on the stewards chair. The steward, tallboy_rocks, was unavailable for comment.

A few laps into the race deano was again leading comfortably, as the race looked like a battle for best of the rest. Unbeknown to him however, his pet hamster, Gerald, had escaped from his in-car cage. Gerald has been a good luck charm for Deano all season and he always joins him in races. On this occasion, though, he began to chew the wiring in the car until it suffered a massive electronics failure. As a result Deano was disconnected. There has been no word on the welfare of Gerald, although a hamster foot was found on the apex of turn 8 after the race.

All of this carnage left benappleby in the lead with Senna catching him rapidly in second, with Martin Whitmarch chasing close behind holding a baseball bat in third. Whitmarsh was later disqualified on a technicality of not using a car. He has since been entered into the team GB team for the 2014 World Athletics Championships. This left Will-I-Am_3001 in third.

Liam-Mullen-1888 was just behind Will and looking to get on the podium. He took it when Will pitted on lap 43 but was given a 10 second time penalty for causing a collision. Codemasters stand by their penalty system.

Up ahead a battle was going on for the lead. This was one of the greats, like Senna v Mansell, Schumacher v Hakkinen or Villeneuve v Pironi. In the end though, Senna took the lead when Ben ran wide on the exit of the last corner. When he ran wide Ben also received a 10-second penalty for corner cutting. Codemaster again stand by their penalty system.

Meanwhile Rob was having a quiet race in 5th, with a large gap both ahead and behind. On lap 48, though, a tuk-tuk was seen heading down the back straight after the driver saw the track as a shortcut to the local cricket ground, where he knew that Sachin Tendulkar was doing some charity work. The tuk tuk ploughed into Rob's car, ending his race. The tuk tuk carried onwith no penalty and got Tendulkar's autograph. Codemasters stand by their penalty system.

In the end though, it was B__SENNA_ who took the chequered flag after an eventful race, from Ben and Will, after Liam's penalty demoted him to 4th.

I really look forward to the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix, where I hope to put my championship challenge back on track. It helped that in the Indian GP Most of my rivals also failed to score meaningful points.

DOTD: bloodandsand15
Rest in Peace: Gerald
Dick Dastardly Award for ruining someone's race: The tuk-tuk driver
James Hunt Award for being a playboy: B__SENNA_
Graham Poll Award for giving terrible penalties: Codemasters

RosstheIcon wrote:Aletdownofstate also received a 10-second penalty. This was because he put a whoopee cushion on the stewards chair. The steward, tallboy_rocks, was unavailable for comment.

Slander!

RosstheIcon wrote:
Aletdownofstate also received a 10-second penalty. This was because he put a whoopee cushion on the stewards chair. The steward, tallboy_rocks, was unavailable for comment.

#TrueFact

I'm minus my lucky hamster for Abu Dhabi, don't be surprised if I crash into the pit wall

Amazing review of the race very detailed and amusing