AL2 From the Cockpit: Christmas Special!

I was unable to take part in the British Grand Prix. Usually I would either make up a hilarious parody of a race report or ignore it altogether. This week however, I have decided to do a Christmas driver-by-driver review of the season up to this point. I thought this would at least be better than, for example, posting a column a week after a race that's only about 3 words long and includes nothing from the race. In other news: Hi Chaz!

Red Bull Racing Renault

Car 1:con_reece/ConnorH1996 (it depends on who you believe, really)

The only real moment when I have come across Con was in Bahrain, however the duel that ensued will be talked about in AL2 folklore for many years to come. Con's 2 race victories this season have shown good form, and left him in 4th position in the championship. His strong performance against his teammate will also please RBR, as well as causing them to question Dave's position in the team.

Rating: 8/10

Car 2: DAVEJ2013

It must be said that I haven't really seen much of Dave this season. The only race in which I saw any sign of his existence was Monaco, where he was one of approximately 75 drivers who had a chance of victory, before he suddenly dropped back. I think that this must have been a highlight of his season, as his total of 18 points to date will be far below what the Red Bull team expect of one of their drivers.

Rating: 3/10

Car 3: ayrtonhamilton

With only one driver at Ferrari and a late start due to crash testing issues with the new car, the Maranello team really needed their new driver, known as 'AH' (probably) to get off to a flyer. This has not happened. 3 races into his career and he has a total points haul of........0! There has also been a controversial incident, as a rather rash pit entry which nearly ended Barwell74's race in Canada left him with a qualifying ban. However, that race also showed promise to the young man, who is British with Brazilian roots, as a good effort in qualifying followed by a solid defensive drive allowed him to keep 3rd place for a solid part of that race. Up to this point though, he has failed to show up his teammate in the points table, despite him not having one.

Rating: 1/10

McLaren Mercedes

Car 5: Daveh_213

Again, I have yet to come across daveh in a racing situation, although he has been very well behaved on the occasions that I have lapped him. I do believe though, that he has been put in a position to be lapped more through misfortune than lack of pace, as his podiums in Malaysia and Spain would support. Consistently good results have also left him 5th in the championship, well ahead of teammate Justanumber666.

Rating: 7/10

Car 6: Justanumber666

It has been a tough season for the man who is clearly named 'Justan', having accumulated less than half the number of points of his teammate. Again I have rarely been close to him on track, and therefore cannot judge him on speed. The points tally will worry his team, though.

Rating: 4/10

Mercedes AMG

Car 9: B_Senna_ (First name unknown, probably Bob.)

Up to this point Mercedes have failed to give Bob an internet connection which matches his ability. This has produced many retirements as well as making life tough for the driver behind. However, domination in Malaysia as well as 3 pole positions show that he has the pace to challenge for the title as long as he has the reliability. The battle between him and teammate benappleby will continue to intrigue spectators.

Rating: 8/10

Car 10: benappleby (Cannot work out his name from this, I shall assume that it is Penelope.)

Currently leading the championship despite not having won a race, Penelope has shown AL2 a masterclass in consistency all season. He has picked up points at most races and taken 3 podiums along the way. A superb drive to 2nd in Montreal which could easily have been a win also shows that on his day he can mix it up at the front, although only time will tell if he can hold his championship lead.

Rating: 9/10

Sauber Ferrari

Car 11: RosstheIcon

Ah, what can be said about this man that hasn't been said before? As fast as lightning, smooth as silk and cool as a cucumber he has been a role model for all others in AL2 to look up to.

In all seriousness though, it has been a difficult season for me so far, only managing 3 finishes. Luckily, they have been 2 wins (including a hat-trick in Canada) and a second place, leaving me 3rd in the championship. Battles with Barwell and a reserving madman at Monaco, SOO7PS at Malaysia and con_reece at Bahrain I think can also go down as some of the battles of the season so far. Basically there have been fireworks between myself and anyone with the words 'Red' or 'Bull' on their cars.

Rating: 8/10

Car 12: goodhead01

to be down in 11th in the championship will be a disappointment for godhead will be a disappointment to him. This wasn't been helped though by a coming together with his teammate in Bahrain (sorry!). Sauber will be hoping for more from the man tipped as a star of the future if they are to pose a serious Constructors title challenge to Mercedes and Toro Rosso.

Rating: 4/10

Williams Renault

Car 16: Will-I-Am_3001 (AKA Flying_Brit)

Unbeknown to many people, this is the same Will-I-Am as the pop-star and judge on 'The Voice UK'. Myself and Will have had many battles both this season and in AL3 last year, and I have total respect for him as a driver. His consistency last season earned him the AL3 championship and has served him well again this year, earning him 2 podiums and a solid 6th place overall. I still think that we have yet to see the best of him though, as it will be a disappointment to Williams that such a proven performer has yet to win a race, and going missing completely at Bahrain was alarming.

Rating: 6/10

Car 17: Greenall-MUFC

Does anyone know who this person is? I think I saw him briefly at Malaysia (where apparently he finished a strong 3rd) but apart from that, nothing! In fact the points for Malaysia are his only ones of the season.

Rating: 3/10, possibly? I really can't be sure...

Toro Rosso Ferrari

Car 18: Barwell74

Currently 2nd in the championship, Barwell has been a consistent challenger at the front this season with 4 podium finishes, culminating in a fantastic victory at Monaco. It has been the case this season that if you want to win a race, first you must beat Barwell. This has left him 2nd in the championship, where Penelope Appleby is beating Barwell.

Rating: 9/10

Special thanks go to Will, whose regular updating of the Data centre made writing this column possible without too much hardship.

Stats:

Most Wins: con_reece/RosstheIcon (2)
Most fastest Laps: Madman_281
Most Fastest Laps while actually being part of AL2: Barwell/Will/Ross/Con (1)
Most Pole Positions: B_Senna_ (3)
Most Podium Finishes (Barwell74) (4)

Awards:

Driver of the Season so Far: Barwell74 (sorry Ben, he's won a race!)
England Cricket Team "Why did you even bother?!" award: Ayrtonhamilton
Darth Sidious award for being from 'the Hood': Will-I-Am
Pastor Maldonado Award for thinking he's actually really good even though the evidence proves otherwise: RosstheIcon
Franck Montangy "Who the hell is he?" award: Greenall-MUFC
Santa Claus Award for wishing you all a very Merry Christmas!: RosstheIcon

Great review mate nice one

U didn't mention how great your mod is lol
Merry Christmas lad

Nice *copies idea*

Good read.. untill I got to the bottom & was 'surprised' to find out that barwell has single handedly led Toro Rosso to 2nd in the Constructers??!!  WTF?!!

So one more award to hand out...

Epic FAIL of the season so far: Rosstheicon for FAILING to write a report on ALL Al2 drivers & not including Grid girls favorite S007PS..

Yeah just noticed that soo7ps There are 13 drivers in AL2 Ross lol

Excellent report Ross, good read and keep it up!

A final addition:

Toro Ross Ferrari (cont.)

Car 19: SOO7PS

A man sometimes forgotten when the greats of AL2 are mentioned, but a very consistent season has left him 8th, at the back of a very tight midfield group in the championship. His points have also helped Toro Rosso to 2nd in the Constructors championship, which will be annoying to Red Bull racing.

Rating: 6/10

An additional award:

Rubens Barrichello Forgotten Legend: SOO7PS

P.S. Sorry bro!